Happy family

As parents, our job is to raise and teach our children.  One of the ways we can teach them is by example.  I tend to want to do it all for my children instead of letting them help me with meals or with projects.  Even though I can do it much quicker and less messy, the time we spend with our children is very precious.  It's though the time we spend with them, where our bonds form and our relationships strengthen.  They are not a burden, they are a blessing.

I am grateful to the example of my own loving mother who has taught me how to be a good mother and wife.  She is always patient and kind and even took the time to teach my friends how to be homemakers.

Below I have included a video that shares a recipe for a happy family.

What Matters Most is What Lasts Longest

In a talk given by Elder M. Russell Ballard he said,

"Crisis or transition of any kind reminds us of what matters most. In the routine of life, we often take our families—our parents and children and siblings—for granted. But in times of danger and need and change, there is no question that what we care about most is our families! It will be even more so when we leave this life and enter into the spirit world. Surely the first people we will seek to find there will be father, mother, spouse, children, and siblings."

Why wait until a crisis comes for us to realize how important our families are?  Work to mend those broken relationships now so when tragedy comes, we will already have a  strong bond with no regrets.  There is nothing more important in this life then our families.   

Blessings of a family council

Daily chores and help around the house seem to be a source of arguments at our house so I have been looking for ways to take the complaining out of the equation.  I found a quote by Elder Ballard about family councils that has given me a way to try to change the way we run our family. 
He said,“A council is when parents let their children help solve the problem. And when everyone agrees to a solution, everyone will have ownership of the problem. If I tell the family, ‘You go out and pull the weeds,’ there may be complaining or hurt feelings. But if I can help them to feel, ‘We all decided this,’ then the family council is truly working. Before you know it, family members will be organizing themselves, saying, ‘You do this and I’ll do that.’ That’s the power of a council.”
We were trying to tell our children what they needed to do to help around the house instead of asking them to help us solve the problems that needed to be done.  We have to give our children the opportunity to solve problems and feel apart of the decision making.  It is important for our children to feel like they are needed and that their opinions are important to us.  This will help them when they leave home to serve missions, go to college, or even get married.  The most important lessons they will learn are within the walls of our homes.

I will strengthen thee; I will help thee

In a talk given by Sister Barbara Thompson to the women of the church, she teaches us simply what our children need from us.

"Dear sisters, love and nurture your children. Tell them you love them. Put your arms around them. Appropriate physical affection will accomplish miracles. Express kind words. Show them by example how to work. Teach them to pray. President James E. Faust said, “Praying together as a family is a bonding experience. Younger children can learn how to pray as they hear the prayers of their parents and older siblings. … Individual prayer and family prayer are indispensable to personal and family happiness.”¹

Read to your children. Read from the scriptures. Help them learn that the scriptures will guide them throughout their entire lives. Have family home evening with them. Let them know that family time together is very important to you.

Children are generally very accepting of their parents and the mistakes parents make. They often forgive, forget, and move on much more quickly than adults do. Don’t feel guilty. Apologize when you have made a mistake. Seek the child’s forgiveness. Change your ways and move on.

Remember that it takes a lot of patience to raise a child. As precious as they are, children can be exasperating, frustrating, and sometimes even naughty. It takes a tremendous amount of patience and restraint in order to avoid doing or saying things we will later regret. Sometimes parents need to put themselves in “time-out” in order to avoid making serious mistakes. Removing yourself from the room for a minute in order to regain control is often very helpful.

No better advice can be found than that given in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.”

We only have our children for a few short years before they go out into the world on their own.  The most important things they will learn come from us and what is taught in our homes.  How we treat them, teach them, and love them, will determine who they will become and how strong they will be.  

It's hard to be a parent, in fact one of the hardest yet most rewarding jobs we will ever have, but it will bring us the most joy and fulfillment. Our children are a blessing from God and He has entrusted them to us for a short time.  Our job is to make sure we give them the best tools we can so they can gain their own testimonies and have the ability to get through their trials stronger.

I am grateful for the tools that I have been given by a loving Heavenly Father. 

“Do you want to be right, or do you want to be married?”

“Do you want to be right, or do you want to be married?”  

In an article by Irene Eubanks, she shares how she was able to overcome pride in her marriage before it destroyed her relationship with her husband.  It is so easy for us to become frustrated with our spouse especially when we are first married and learning all of their little quirks and habits.  I love this lesson she shares about overcoming our natural man.

In the beginning of my marriage, even until recently, I thought I wanted to always be right.  My husband will be the first to apologize even when he knows it's not his fault.  He has already masted this question and the answer is obvious for him, he wants to be married.  I often wonder why it is so hard for me to admit when I'm wrong when it is so easy for him.  The answer to that is not so obvious. 

He is an example to me each time he opens his mouth to speak.  Negative words do not come from his mouth, nor will he ever find faults in me, but he is always happy to point out the good things about me and things he loves.  Over the years, his attitude has rubbed off on me and I have begun to look at the good things in others and let go of the negative.  It has become easier for me to admit when I am wrong.

I am grateful for the lessons he has taught me about being a good spouse and person. 

Lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven

After reading "The Cost of Riches" by Elder Lynn G. Robbins, I realized that we are living in a time where our priorities are not where they should be.  The pioneers gave up all their world possessions as they made the long trek across the country, keeping only what they needed for the journey and maybe a few personal items.  Along the way they would have to leave some of those things behind to lighten the load.  They would never have thought about leaving any of their children behind.  Their children were the most important treasure to them.

Today we tend to see people putting their worldly treasures ahead of the important things.  Working longer hours to have more worldly possessions which leave less time for our children and families.  In a sense we are leaving our children behind.  We are leaving it up to someone else to take care of them and to raise them.  We are not putting the right value on the family. 

"The most important work we will ever do is within the walls of our own homes."

Elder Robbins also points out that money doesn’t always bring us happiness.  I believe this is true.  Some of the happiest memories I have are when my husband and I were first married and poor.  With the need to have many worldly treasures, a lot of people are working more hours or even both spouses are working to provide more entertainment or toys.  We do not need to constantly entertain our children.  They need to learn to be creative and come up with their own ideas.  We need to be spending time with them helping them to use their creative minds and encouraging them not ignoring them.

If we want to strengthen our families so that we can obtain our eternal heavenly treasures, then we need to put the family first and figure out what our true treasures are and then we will be truly happy.

Power of Family prayer

One of the ways we can strengthen our families is through family prayer.  In a talk given by Elder John H. Groberg, he shares with us the power that family prayer can have in strengthening the family.

 President Marion G. Romney has so clearly stated, “The efficacy of our prayers depends on how we care for one another.” (Ensign, Nov. 1980, p. 93.) Family prayer is fully effective, then, only as we rise from our knees and, with increased love and understanding, take better care of each other."

 "We all want more love and unity in our families. We all need more help with some who may be wayward or in special need. We all desire more assurance of divine guidance and direction.

I promise you that as you consistently and fervently pray as a family, and as each member takes his or her turn and sincerely prays for others, impressions will come as to what you individually should do to help others. Thus, you can, in family prayer, receive personal and family revelation as to how to love and serve one another."

 We started having family prayer with our children after we moved away from all of our extended family.  We were alone in a new state, the kids were small, and we needed strength. We struggled to find comfort and often found ourselves on our knees pleading to a loving Heavenly Father for help.  The children were homesick and we began to pray for them.  I could see our Father in Heaven's influence as he answered our pleas and we began to include the children so they could also have assurance that their prayers were being answered as well. 

 It seemed like any time we missed, our kids would get upset.  With late nights and busy schedules we were eager to put them to bed, but their examples to us came with power and a realization that this was more important than anything else at that time.  A few minutes for prayer would not change the amount of sleep they were going to get overall.  A few minutes to talk to our Father in Heaven who gives us all and blesses our lives, we could spare those few minutes.

 I have seen their humble prayers improve from the standard repeat prayers to heartfelt and thoughtful prayers as they think about who they are praying for, what they are praying for, and what they are thankful for.  It has been a huge blessing to our family.  One last thought from Elder Groberg's talk,

"Think of what you teach by having family prayer. Then think of what you teach by not having family prayer."

What MattersMost

I love the video What Matters Most, put out by the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints because it puts into perspective what is most important in our lives, our Families.  Click on the link to see the video for yourself if you haven't already.

So why is the family so important?  "The family is ordained of God and is central to His plan for the eternal destiny of His children. This divine plan makes it possible for individuals to return to His presence and for families to be united eternally."

There is nothing we could obtain in this life more important than our eternal families.  Without our eternal family, we have nothing.  The family is central to the Fathers plan and is the reason we came here to live.  Everything else centers around strengthening the family. 

Satan is aware of our Fathers plan for us and is doing his best to break up the foundation of the family, but we are strong and we have tools to help us and to guide us.

One quote that has helped my family to overcome hard things is,

"When life feels like it's falling apart, it may be falling into place"

We can't give up because we are being tested because maybe we are being strengthened.

Family is everything